Failure!

'Every failure is one step, towards success'. One of the most heard , and famous proverbs. It has a deeper meaning than what any reader can get in one go. It teaches us a beautiful thing about life. But, how I wish life could be taught so easily! Infact, life cannot be taught at all, it has to be learned and lived.

I'm not a very strong person, I break easily. And, I trust even more easily. Tears, are like my best friends. I cry at everything. But, for once, too many failures in one go, were a little hard catch, personally. First, I flunked in my first semester examination and that too by 1 mark. This was humiliating and at the same time kind of heartbreaking. I didn't know, how to take it. I know my parents didn't scold and were all cool with it, because I wrote the paper in high fever and an unpleasant unconsciousness. However, I did not expect myself to undergo it. All set and done, I overcame it with much shock and tears.

The next, was a larger failure, because exams once failed can be reappeared. However, people that are once judged wrong, will remain like that. I thought my friends are going to be with me in this, but what I found was that they had been lying and were absolutely prepared to pass with flying colors. They lied, when they told me they didn't study. They lied when they told me that they were unprepared . They lied when they did all the drama. It was sad, and disappointing. I wasn't upset with them. I was upset with myself for taking the wrong decision. I learnt that, I'm still a poor judge of people, and meeting new people did not make it any better. I was still innocent, in a world of overly-intelligent people. Sad enough.

And, now I know how to deal with life.  I will completely stop trusting everyone around me.

Signing off.
In a Lil discomfort.

Beware of people!

Love? Maybe!

How often do we think we're in love? We fall in love with things, moments, memories , people and almost everyone around us... But , there's always a click, that we get with some people.. there are some people who are capable of giving us butterflies in our stomach every time they text, every time they call, you just feel that you've fallen for them even more deeply, and the moment you see them it's like..
. God that feeling! That killer feeling! Its just not something that I can describe like ever! Its just out of the world,.. you start relating them to every song... you feel like seeing them almost always .. isn't it like so WOW! That one emotion is worth dying for...

As quoted by Johnny Depp once,"if you fall for two people , always go for the second, because of you really loved the first, you won't go for the second". But, I personally don't agree... I believe in destiny... I believe in love... and I believe in truly falling in love .. it's like the wow moment... I believe that you fall for the second, maybe because the first wasn't meant to be .. sometimes the first is a mistake, we weren't born with someone telling us that we have to love that one guy in particular. .. but that feeling of being in love, wanting them every second of the day and seeing them all the time in your dreams .. it's like so good. . Its like amazing... it's like I cannot express.  . The jealousy you get when someone else talks to them.. it's like.. you simply wanna punch them in the face for going close to your guy .. it's like the best thing one can ever come across!

But, there's a fear attached too with this awesome-ness , what if they don't like you back... what if they don't feel the same about you, what if they feel the same about someone else... isn't that really heartbreaking , something you can't face for a whole lifetime... a feeling that you'd die ..

Why is love so complicated ... can't life just straighten up... why does it unfold in strands and not just in one go? Is it because the thrill is way too much for one to take..

But, all I know is, I love him... I just want him to be mine .. forever .. because there is no one else I want in life. .. it's just he'll make my life complete .. he has a magic or something on me... because he's just my someone special... and I hope that if he comes , he'll stay forever!

Me, signing off!(in love)

Lies!

How often do we as individuals lie and get away with it? What do we lie about? Are most things that we lie about worth the lies? Or is it just because we don't find anything better to say or make an excuse or give a justification?

Most of the times we lie, because we are too afraid to tell the truth and deal with the complications it gets for us. The surprising thing is that , it's not the truth that brings the complications but the lie that drags us into all the shit we face later. Almost all the time we are simply scared of things that might happen, and what we do is forget that 'might' is not a deciding word, it has possibilities of both that a situation may occur or may not occur. And most of the times in these lies we loose our original self and tend to forget what was the truth. 

The truth is much much more easier to handle as compared to the lie. To hide one lie, you've to tell a million more lies. Is that really acceptable?  I mean, most of the times, I'm stuck in situations where I simply lie to get away, and hell! yes! I do get away, but that is for a very short while of course! Most of the lies that I tell always get caught. And, it's not that I'm bad at telling lies or something, it's just that they have to be caught. If not now, then maybe in a while. But, you can never get away with telling a lie.

the biggest cost of telling a lie is loosing the person you've loved the most. I paid it. Trust me, it's the worst feeling on the planet. You feel so frustrated, broken & what not. And, you can do absolutely nothing to get rid of this feeling. You go like; 'Man! I wish I didn't do this'. But, by the time you realize that what you've done was wrong, it's too late too apologize. 

All you can do is live with the guilt. And living with guilt is like living with a burden. And, it's not at all, simple for a start.

Here's me signing off, with a free advice;

AVOID LIES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! :\

Tears!

How do you feel when you see somebody cry? You feel sad? Or happy (for the sadist people)?

Okay, let me change the question, how do you feel when you see someone you love cry in front of you?
Isn't it annoying and at the same time heart-breaking? Isn't it something like a knife is being sliced through your chest and you can do nothing about it! Isn't it something like you are about to approach the end of all possibilities of life?

They say tears are the last gift of love.. Tears can make any person cry ... And seeing the person you love sob their eyes out in front of you, because of you is the worst thing one can ever experience. Trust me it hurts. . Real real bad. You cannot stop your own tears.

I feel miserable. Seeing your loved one cry their eyes out.. I mean I thought I was strong enough to handle it, . But, I am not. I'm a jerk. I actually hurt him with something that barely mattered. I made him leave me. I found temporary happiness but permanent loneliness. I may cry as much but, I know that the value of my tears is nothing in front of his..

And, it's true;
If a boy cries for you, he really loves you. </3

At peace!

Sometimes life brings you to such crossroads, that you don't know which way to take! which way to follow, whom to trust and whom to just let go! Sometimes you feel you love people way too much that existence without them is impossible! But, the truth is that you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the ONLY choice you've got!


Isn't it strange how somebody becomes your life so easily and leaves you all alone mid way even more  easily. Sometimes we feel that we affect people too much, but the truth is that our presence is not even felt in their lives. It's like, they don't even feel that you've left their lives.


The most ironical thing about life is that you normally care about people too much when they don't give you any importance in their life. It is so weird, that how somebody can just ignore you, despite of knowing how crazily you feel about them .


Life in itself is one thing you can never be happy out. You can never get tired of craving for things that merely exist.. All you want is one.. just one thing that you can't get. Or maybe you don't wish for it enough.

I broke up with somebody I've been with for the past 2 years . Weird.. that we had to let each other go like that but, trust me there is no person on the planet who's at peace the way I am right now. Because, there is nothing bigger than self esteem in life. If somebody cannot respect you the way you are, they have no right to be with you.
It is as simple as buying a package. You take it, if you like it great, and if you don't then it's you who has to deal with it! There is gonna be absolutely no change in it!

And, one thing I've learned;
If you don't have the balls to protect yourself from such people , then people are gonna screw you in any fucking way.
It's ONLY YOU who will stand up for yourself in the end.

So everyone, STAY AT PEACE!
And if any corner of your life is dark, better empty it , so that something beautiful can take it's place.

And ENJOY EVERY SECOND YOU LIVE! :)

Happiness is all I long for!

Why do people have a habit of always stamping your doorstep, when you're so done with them? When you've erased all the memories, cried over the lost love & just moved on ahead in your life. Isn't that enough for them?

And when you just begin to think that their share in your life is over, they take a U turn and decide to return .Is that not mean? Is that not how life gets complicated? Is that not the moment when all you wanna do is kill yourself! Is that not when you wanna DIE!

I so surely wanna.  .Life sucks! I don't know what is wrong and what is right. If having fun is wrong, then is being quite right or vice versa. There are times when you don't feel like a grown up at all. When, you wanna beg yourself to simplify life. Wen you wanna die of being depressed and oppressed.

Isn't life so shitty at times. .Don't we all at some point of life, kill to be happy.

How we want some people in our life, and at the same time don't want them. It's so WEIRD. I feel like I myself have dragged me into a pit of holy shit.

This dilemma sucks.

I'm gonna die.

sooner or later. :|

FML. :@

Northern India Region- no power!

For almost 8 consecutive hours the government of India had decided to keep the Northern Indian region in darkness. Everybody was upset with the mishap. Most of the people didn't know that something like this was to occur, in spite of constant announcements in the newspapers, and at various metro stations. The power cut had been in 5 states and 1 union territory namely, Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Uttar pradesh, Uttarakhand and chandigarh.

People were devastated and thought as though the power cut was the end of their lives. Facebook statuses were updated, people tweeted on how lame the government is and what not. Telephone helplines of power suppliers likes BSES and NDPL were flooded with phone calls. People were annoyed and the annoying nature was really visible.

But, being a population of 300 million, nobody was aware in spite of the various pre-announcements regarding the power failure. Even, the Prime Minister who puts up in New Delhi, had to undergo the failure. After, the power was restored, electricity returned and lit everyone's houses.

People in spite of facing an 8-hour-long power cut, didn't learn how to respect what they had. Within 30 minutes of the return of power, the water tanks had overflown and the load on the electricity transformers had risen to a very high extent.

It was like people were trying to get even on the government. Is that what we are? A nation fighting against a government where all out ministers want is the welfare of the country. Instead of welcoming our new president, Mr.Pranab Mukherjee, all we are doing is cursing the Indian government.

Is that what a nation should do?

I am not categorizing anything as right or wrong, I'm just posting in a point of view.
To decide, lies upon you people.

Till then,
Thank you people.

In the midst of everything I forgot to say tat Gagan Narang bagged the gold medal for India in the London Olympics 2012.

Go Indiaaaaaa! :D

College! :D (y)

Okay. . So my College at Daulat Ram college, University of Delhi. It's a joy-filled ride I guess. And, I kind of think I am going to enjoy college. . Quite a lot. .
It began with me cribbing about the sucking infrastructure and the not-so-cool crowd accompanied by the SuperHot Delhi. . Sometimes, I wonder how do the people in the middle east manage to survive with that weather! But, then I made two new friends- the only two cool people of our class! :P

In the first two days at college, I realized that these are going to be the only two people that i will spend my college life with. Nobody else is even interested in knowing my name, let alone me.  with, this began my not-so-rocking college life.

I know it looks like I'm gonna suck in my three years here at DRC, but gradually, things started looking a far better. Since, I'm the only cool people in the class, i'm the creme crowd of history, People thing I'm eligible for miss.DRC  & Miss. Freshers this year. And, I might as well join the Fashion society, provided the fashion society president finds me worthy of it. But, there is nothing wrong in auditioning , right?

We found too many hangout places around our college. The yummiest maggi in front of my college. The most awesome chowmein in the college cafeteria. And, sexy boys in Ramjas college and SGTB khalsa college , i.e. the neighboring colleges.

Also, I took an auto all the way from the college to home because I had to watch a movie. The auto ride was amazing. I loved it. And, I could actually know the way from there to my place. It was fun though everybody had their hangups,

In short, I think these three years at college might be fun. Or maybe, a lot more than fun.

Keep reading,
for more fun filled posts!

Love Life! :)

Excitement Level- 10!!! :)

Okayyy! So tomorrow is my first day at college!
Well, I am not in Hindu College or St.Stephens! But, Well, I am in DRC! I still get to go to north campus! I still get a cool college! I still get to have the campus fun! And well, I am sure its not gonna be all that bad!. I hope I get to make some good friends. Some my kind of people. Some people who understand me. Some people who know me. People I'd call friends for the rest of my life. People i'd love to be with.

My excitement level is so high that i cannot explain it. I have decided my clothes, shoes, my hair even my nail paint tomorrow. Im behaving like a little baby who will start school!
Gosh! This is gonna be so much fun.

I hope I just live it up to my own expectations.

Wait till tomorrow, to know how it was.
Love all.
XOXO. :)

The road I have finally taken!

Okay, this has nothing to do with where I belong, or what the society thinks.  This is about me as an individual. I have always wanted to be come a lawyer. Not because, It involves big amount of money. But, because I like what they wear when they fight a case. ;) (I know you must be thinking that I should probably color my hair blonde)

I thought clearing the law school entrances would be a cakewalk. Shit! I was so wrong. I didn't make the cut for any of the two! In fact I wasn't even close to the people who made it to law schools. I felt ashamed. Not because, I had let myself down. I really wanted to become a lawyer. At least, that was something I was sure about. And, now I felt horrible.It was like everything had come to a stop. Like, life would suck.

But, my optimism didn't let me fall. I made up my mind, that come what may i will fulfill my dream of becoming a lawyer. I was a booster to my own self confidence. And, I pursued history honors from Delhi University with hopes of getting into law school. my devastated dream was once again beginning to join. I knew I had to make it. I knew I will put my mind & body, Heart & soul into this. Now, I didn't succeed yet1 There is an almost a whole year left for those entrances. But, I feel geared up.

I am sure I will make it this time. because, I really wanna make it.This was something I really wanted to do. Not for my mom or dad , or for anybody else. But, for myself. I wanted this. I wanted to do this. This was my dream. One dream I really wanted to pursue. And, I am gonna do it.

this is the road that I have taken. And, I will never give up on this one.

Because, when you really wish for something,
The whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it.

That's my take! :)

In the race of being everything else, I lost myself.

For my dad, I will be an IAS officer someday, for my mother I will be a more scuttle and calm person someday, for the world I will be someone who has total control on their anger, for the people around me i will be somebody else that they are pleased with. But, what the hell! In being all this I am not me.

Ever had a feeling that you don't belong somewhere. Somewhere, just that somewhere, people don't care about you. Somewhere you are just a last priority to the people around you. Somewhere you are not wanted. Somewhere you are seriously disliked. Just somewhere, that one place where you wanna run away from. Well, for me that place right now is my home.

How does it feel when you have been waiting for something for a long time, and people promise you with full conviction that it is going to happen, but, in the end it doesn't happen. I am going through that feeling, when you feel that the world has come to an end. When all you wanna do is cry for the wrong that has happened to you. When, I was young, they taught me promise breaker is a shoe maker. now, I know why there are so many shoe companies in the world. Because, nobody here believes in keeping a promise here. Promises are just a piece of shit for the people around us. I feel bad. Horrible. Sick. In tears.

Can there be a worse emotion? I am not me. I remember I used to be happy-go-lucky. Always smiling. Like nothing in the world could make me sad. But now, when I look into the mirror, I feel so ditched. I feel as though I am not the same person anymore. I feel like a disgusting human. Remember, I wrote about optimism a few days ago, well its not me anymore. I'm a pessimist. And, I am gonna remain one, I guess. Why don't all people come with a warning attached of their behaviors in our life! Why are some people different from others! Why?

I know this piece of writing means nothing. But, right now what I feel is so inexpressible that I just can't tell. I know I am behaving like a lousy loser. But, we all have the right to feel like losers at some point of time? don't we? Sometimes, all we want is a person. Somebody to talk to. Someone who understands us. Someone who can take all that shit.

I thought I was all I needed. When, I was upset, I was all I needed. And, now it seems like i need everybody save me. Help me!

I don't wanna loose the most beautiful thing in myself  i.e. Me.

Slut?

What is society? What are norms? What are rules? What is the code of conduct? How are we supposed to behave? WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK & SAY?

Sad! but true, that India today walks on the guidelines of the few questions I have stated above. People categorize girls a lot more easily than they might think of doing it to boys. The discrimination has seen hardly few differences since the time we got our independence. We still have those old fashioned ways of thinking. Where a girl who wears hot pants & shorts is not acceptable. No! They don't tell you to follow a dress code because, had they asked you to do so, life would have been much easier. Its the eyes that kill. It is the happenings in the surroundings that kill. It is the people who kill . and, they just not kill. They RAPE, GANG RAPE & MOLEST you before they kill. And sometimes after doing all of that, they don't even kill. they let you live a shitty life, where all you can do is hide your face from your neighbors. Sometimes even change your town.

Yes, we have been advanced. Yes, we have grown. Yes, we have big apartments around us now. Yes, we have all the technology in the world with us now. But, is that what women in our country crave for? Is that what we want to make out of our life? Are we designed to be dolls, which can be played by men, whenever & wherever they want & most importantly in whatever manner. Are we still continuing with the archaic society that we once lived in.

I remember of a friend, who in her language used to make love with her boyfriend. She could not leave her boyfriend because, if she did so he would tell her parents about everything that they shared, which would more or less shatter her & her parents. We being Indians, are taught to think of our parents before ourselves.
Strange! I never get this concept though. How can somebody be considered superior just because they were born of a different gender. Weird! how can they just possess certain rights to insult or molest you or even tease.

Weird isn't it? If a girl wears a short skirt, or hangs out with her male friends, does that make her a slut or a bitch! I mean, why? Does our society not recognize something called friendship! Is there no scope to be friends here? Why are our worlds just rotating around people who we shouldn't even give a shit! 

I mean this is unfair. I feel so bad! It's like life is being mean to us, just because we are women! Weren't women accustomed to be mothers, daughter & sisters. But, now all we seem to be are sluts, prostitutes & whores.

I still crave for an India, where we are respected. Treated the way we should have. And, where disrespecting women is a serious criminal office & not something that even our police officers do!

I will wait for that India.

That day, when the clock strikes 12, India will rise. To independence. The REAL independence.